The Truth vs. Dramatic Heroes

Several years ago I read the book The Road of Lost Innocence: The true story of a Cambodian Heroine. It's a very wowish book in which a Cambodian lady went through awful, awful things at the hands of brothel owners after being sold and trafficked.  Eventually she found her freedom and began a foundation for rescuing other girls. 

It's an amazing story really.  An amazing woman!  The only thing I always wished was to hear that Samoly Mam had somehow learned to know Jesus. 

None the less, Samoly Mam is a hero.  She spent about 20 years helping others, rescuing them from brothels and giving them a better life.  I kept telling myself, if I ever go back to Cambodia I must look up Samoly Mam. When Nicholas Kristof and Half the Sky made a documentary in which he took celebrities into different countries to raise awareness of the oppression of women around the world, I was delighted that Samoly Mam was included.  Yes, Nicholas took Meg Ryan to visit and interview Samoly Mam.  In watching the documentary I again felt a tinge of sadness that no recognition was given to Jesus who is in the business of changing lives. 

Then recently I heard that there are allegations out that Samoly's story may not be entirely true.
So why would she make up such a story?   And what about the many girls who are being helped through the organization that she founded? 
Yes, she raised tremendous awareness to a real problem.  Human Trafficking.   Some may say that although her methods might not have been the best at least awareness has been raised and good has come from it. 

Does the end justify the means? 

On the other hand is it possible that WE THE PEOPLE and our love for dramatic success stories could be part of the problem?
We like to hear about the rescued girls who are simply overjoyed that we would share a few dollars so that they could have a better education.   We like to hear how our donations to good causes are feeding the hungry, saving lives, and transforming their futures.

Having lived overseas with the hope that I might be able to help a few young people have a better life I know some of the stresses of  wanting to tell supporters what they want to hear.  Sometimes it is just plain hard to know what to write in newsletters.  Life is normal. The dramatic seems to be happening to others, not so much for me.   Youth you are working with don't seem to be listening to what you're saying.  And believe it or not there are some who don't want to be rescued...or even know they need to be rescued.  There are those whom you try to teach new ways, who simply return to the same old ways.  Furthermore, I am selfish, I get very annoyed (I don't want to use the word mad, because that would sound really bad), have bad attitudes and wonder what in the world is wrong with these crazies who aren't listening to me. These are things you really don't want to write home about.  Sometimes the stories of failure happen way more often than the successes.  And what?? People are sending you money to fail?! 

I say that during my 5-1/2 years in Asia I believe that God taught me more than I taught anyone else.  This can be a bit disconcerting when you meet me and realize that I'm still a basket case.  Really I spent all that support money on language study, housing and food for me, to succeed at what??

So...WE THE PEOPLE... Let's learn to be okay with the truth.  The truth that life is not always dramatic or filled with dramatic success stories (although granted there are a few).   And let's do our best to know The Truth.  Which by the way, is the best part of what I've been thinking about for this post.  

What is The Truth?   Or maybe a better question would be Who is The Truth?  
For Jesus said "I am The Truth".  John 14:6
And in John 8:32 He says; "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free".  Maybe, just maybe we should capitalize The Truth and make it a proper noun.  I'm not trying to change scriptures or take things out of context but...Jesus did say..."I am The Truth".   And I know that there is freedom in knowing HIM.   

So my hope...my dream...is for Samoly Mam and all her girls to know The Truth.
I also hope that someday when I get to heaven I'll learn that some of my failures where not so much failures but some how, in some way The Truth has turn them into success stories (complete with some drama). 

And to my faithful supporters over the years.   Thank YOU!  Thanks for believing in the power of The Truth.   Thanks for not giving up on me.  Thanks for allowing me to be real, for allowing me to fail and believing that in the end The Truth will bring freedom for many. 
And Please...continue to support others by allowing them to be real, allowing them to fail, and believing that although sometimes your support might seem to fall upon failure there are a few...a few lives changed, a few rescued from slavery, and best of all a few more beautiful people whom we'll meet in heaven because of your promotion of The Truth.

Geckos, Ants and Other Ordinary Things

Isn't it amazing how what is ordinary depends on where you are? 

For example, ordinary in my life now involves - shoes, cars, tomatoes, strawberries and ordinary weather.

A few years ago, ordinary in my life involved - flip flops, motorbikes, lesson plans, mangoes and HOT weather  + roaches, lizards and more. 

To this day when I catch a glimpse of anything long and skinny that might or might not be moving my first thought is still "Gecko".   But really Geckos should cause no alarm.  The small ones are a little annoying because they can tend to get in the way.   They simply don't move fast enough.  I also didn't really enjoy cleaning up after geckos but for the most part they were just a part of the household decor.  Occasionally I'd invite one to move himself out of the cupboard, or need to clean a smashed one out of the refrigerator door but nothing too stressful.  

In my first year in Laos I lived in a house that was well blessed with the super sized, high speed spiders.  That first year I would not be surprised if my neighbors thought I had fits of insanity as I would take to chasing spiders which caused much crashing and banging.   At some point I learned...these spiders are basically harmless, unless of course you hurt yourself trying to kill one.  After that upon sighting a spider I might have tried to scare him out of sight but chasing a high speed spider was just too much trouble to be bothered with.

Ants also became a part of everyday life.  If you dropped a crumb anywhere ants would arrive.  It might be the little fast black ants, it might be the tiny, tiny, tiny ants, it might be the bigger ordinary ants and it might be all of the above.   The one thing you could depend on was that ants would arrive.  Again, you could tell who the new comers to the country were by the alarm factor they experienced with the ants.  After being in Laos for awhile, without thinking I refilled my unwashed Pepsi cup with more Pepsi only to realize I now had ants swimming in Pepsi.  Trust me, Pepsi is way to precious to be wasted because of a few ants. 

Roaches - they really weren't a problem as they usually disappeared when the lights came on.  Sure, I'd enter the house and hear and see them rushing for the dark corners but give them a few seconds and they would be gone.  Really not a problem until...

One day I dashed out of school, hopped on my motorbike and took off for home.  As I was driving along with the Vientiane traffic I felt a slight brushing of something against my hair but just sorta figured that the lining of my helmet was loose. I keep driving, the lining of my helmet seemed to keep moving.  Then the realization hits me, something is walking on my head.  

SOMETHING IS WALKING ON MY HEAD!  

This is a problem! A very real problem. 
I'm driving, in traffic, and my helmet is fastened down to my head and SOMETHING IS WALKING ON MY HEAD!  I am grasping, clawing and doing my best to get that helmet off of my head, get myself out of traffic and my bike off of the road.  I managed to get the helmet off and the bike off the road at pretty much the same time as a very large roach found his freedom and took flight. 
For many days after this event I would always stick my hand in my helmet before putting it on my head. 
To this day I do not like roaches.  No I really DO NOT like roaches.  I don't care how ordinary and every day they are, I really don't like roaches.




 

Of Lao and Of Buses

Today when I read this article, http://jclao.com/night-bus-adventure-laos/ , it brought a smile to my face and flooded my mind with many memories.  I myself have made that trip to Luangprabang by bus no less than 6 times, usually by VIP bus. Of course I usually opted to take the day bus instead of the night bus as I always felt there was a greater chance of the driver staying awake, plus there's some pretty awesome scenery along the way that would be totally missed in the darkness of night.  (you also get to actually see the great heights from which you could fall should your driver fall asleep or simply miss a turn)

To be perfectly honest by the end of my 5+ years in Lao my relationship with buses was probably a bit shaky, but regardless of the relationship I had with them it does at times make for a good story.  And if traveling a distance (beyond the reach of my motorbike) was probably the most economical.

I learned my tricks for dealing with buses.  When beginning a trip there where times I was a little confused as to which bus to get on.
My policy was - if the helpful men took your bag and put it on a bus always make sure that you get on the same bus.   This way regardless of where the bus itself ended up you would at least have a change of clothes when you got there.

Also if traveling by night bus get yourself settled into your seat, carefully wrap the straps of your backpack around your leg (this insures that should someone decide to take it they will either take you too or wake you up trying), take a healthy dose of Dramamine and maybe top that off with Tylenol PM and hope that whoever sits beside you doesn't feel it is their duty to wake you every time the bus stops.

And if traveling to Luangprabang or almost anywhere in the north be prepared for the passing out of the plastic bags and retching noises that will happen along the way.  A strong stomach and extra prayers are a plus.  I personally don't get bus sick but apparently a lot of people and some dogs do.  Oh, and dogs don't use bags.

It does at times seem that I had a special knack for not realizing there may be danger ahead, beside or just around the corner when traveling, and I'm really glad that I always traveled with a someone to protect me.  Sometimes I may have said I was traveling alone but trust me when I say, I was NEVER alone.

On one such trip my friend and I where headed for Phongsali.  To reach Phongsali involved numerous buses and many hours.  I'm gonna guess driving straight through in those days would've maybe taken 24-30ish hours.   At least with our type of buses and luck.   One day we encountered a landslide.   Landslide on one side, steep drop off on the other.  I was so fascinated by the scenery below me that I didn't even realize the rest of the passengers on the bus where on their feet either heading for the door or at best the opposite side of the bus.   My claim remains - If we were going down that hill I wanted to see the scenery on the way.  (truth is I might, or might not have been too terrified to move).    

Learning Through Song

Sometimes I wonder why I feel the need to keep songs such as this on file somewhere.

Maybe it's because I've never quite left my childhood behind. 

Or 

maybe it's because I've been an ESL teacher.  Maybe after having been a teacher it takes years to get the appreciation of kids songs out of your head.  Personally I think that if I would have been introduced to this Fruit of the Spirit song while still teaching I would've most likely taken it to the classroom.  

And

This thought brings back many memories. 

One thing that is so awesome about teaching English as a Second Language is that you can take kids songs into a classroom full of adults and get full participation.  

Well, sometimes you get full participation and sometimes they get a teacher that looks like a fool.  But really, take some simple words, put them to a catchy tune and I bet your students will remember them.    

I remember many a day walking through school and hearing strains of  "Hello. Hello. Hello. What's your name?" Drifting through the air.   

Yes, most likely that was a student from my class.  I'd say at least 75% of my students have heard that song at some point in their English Education.   

(I have no idea why this video clip has a Japan Airline picture on it)

Thank You Phaivahn for being my student! 

And yes, when I think of Mr. Phaivahn putting his heart into it his line of "My name is Phaivahn", amid the laughter of the rest of the class, it still makes me smile.

Of course there were also songs such as "Head and Shoulders, Knees and Toes" and the "ABC" song which could be brought out to liven up life a bit as well as teach important vocabulary such as body parts and...well... the ABCs.  

Somehow "The Ants Go Marching One by One" made it into my classroom.  This was inspired by my friend Linda who pointed out just how much English Vocabulary could be learned from this simple song.   Think about it...Verbs and Nouns. Think of all the everyday activities that littlest Ant does.   He sucks his thumb, (this is not an everyday activity for me), ties his shoe, opens the gate, climbs a tree, shuts the door and many other important things. 

Then there was Jesus, Love is a Bubblin' over.  First taught by my dear friend Jess, and later brought back into the classroom for students in the following years.  Ya gotta love songs with motions and very few words.  

But my favorite experience of all... Okay, I'm gonna brag just a little.  I'll admit I got a little bit of a big head over this experience but I've just gotta write this story down for snowy days when I need to remember that my students really did like me.  So sit back, relax and enjoy.   

Once upon a time, in a far away place, there was a group of about 20 students who all had this deep desire to learn English.   You see, English is an International Language and if they could only learn this rather difficult language they might possibly be given an opportunity for a better paying job. 

By an act of God these students became my students.  Ajaan Ann they called me.  Now Ajaan Ann had a curriculum to follow but she would randomly come up with things that really had no connection with the curriculum. Songs such as I've already mentioned.  Songs that involved marching like ants, or waving arms and making strange noises, or doing a little 'rap' such as this.  (okay so maybe it doesn't qualify as rap)

Basically I figured that my students were in a state of confusion when I appeared with my songs.   

Then one day I arrived at school to discover an IGo team had arrived.   Now I'm not at all sure IGo teams really appreciated when I gave them things to do.   I'm know to put them to painting rooms or cutting grass with hand clippers in the heat of the day.  In this case I noticed one of them carrying a guitar.  Since none of the other American staff had arrived at school yet and these poor IGoers really looked like they needed something to do (In actuality they were probably walking around with glazed eyes looking for a place to lay down and sleep They had just traveled all night by bus) I pointed out the guitar I asked if they liked to sing.   

They did.   

I handed them a song sheet and asked if they would teach my students this song.  Class starts in a few minutes.   (I'm sure their dreams of showers and sleep quickly vanished but this story is not suppose to include concern for the IGo students, this story is about my pride and me feeling like the most honored teacher)   

The IGoers readily agreed and showed up in my classroom to teach the song. They did an excellent job of it too.   Then they departed so that I could continue teaching all the good things I was actually suppose to be teaching.  

My students sat and quietly watched this tired team of IGoers file one by one down the steps.   As soon as everyone had disappeared the students all looked at me and said, "Now you teach us this song".   

Yeah, it made me a little proud.   

Yeah, I think they liked me.  I kinda liked them too!!     

A Few Thoughts on The Church

Having made a flying attempt and only making it halfway through the book of Acts I have uncovered some positive thoughts on the meaning of Church. 

What are some reasons for church? (in no particular order, and by no means an exclusive list)

1.  Drawing others to Jesus

Over and over and over throughout the book of Acts the apostles are constantly turning the people's/congregation's attention back to Jesus.  They wanted it to be clear that Jesus was the one getting attention. 

Sometimes I wonder have I lost my excitement for Jesus?  

Am I trying to bring Him to others attention or am I so focused on myself that I forget about Jesus?  

2.  Prayer for each other in times of distress

When Paul was in prison the church was praying for him.  Acts 12:5  

When the church prayed things happened.  Acts 12:12-14 The house was packed with praying friends.  

If I'm in trouble I'd like to have that kind of support group behind me. 

3.  Encouragement

Acts 13:42-43  "As the meeting broke up, a good many Jews and converts to Judaism went along with Paul and Barnabas, who urged them in long conversations to stick with what they'd started, this living in and by God's grace." 

Acts 14:21-22  "urging them to stick with what they had begun to believe and not quit, making it clear to them that it wouldn't be easy:  Anyone signing up for the kingdom of God has to go through plenty of hard times."  

Yeah, it's always better to have believer around to encourage us.  When things get hard we might give up if we are alone but with encouragement it's a lot easier to stick with what we have started.   

I'm so grateful for the times that I've gotten encouragement from other believers. 

4.  Rejoicing together

After Peter's prayed for release from prison, once the praying friends finally realized that he was free and standing before them Acts 12:16 says: "Finally they opened up and saw him - and went wild! (the message) 

We struggle together, we pray together, let's rejoice together! 

 
5.  Waiting and fasting together for guidance

Acts 13:2 (the message) - "One day as they were worshiping God - they were also fasting as they waited for guidance" 

Now other versions of this verse did not use the word "wait" but I kinda like it there.  I like the idea of having people worshiping God and waiting together for guidance.  It sometimes seems like I do a lot of 'waiting for guidance' alone, but maybe that's because I fear sharing my need for guidance.   

Now a lot more could be said about this verse. There's also the fasting and the worshiping that could  be talked about extensively and here I am pulling out the waiting.   

I'm just saying - it get's lonely when waiting by yourself so why not wait collectively.  Whether it be for guidance in choosing missionaries (as was happening in these particular verses) or guidance for living life.

 
6.  Sending Missionaries

Again from Acts 13.  After worshiping, fasting, and waiting for guidance they chose Barnabas and Saul and commissioned them for the work to which they were called.  

7.  Sharing what God has done

Acts 14:27-28 After returning from their trip "On arrival, they got the church together and reported on their trip, telling in detail how God had used them to throw the door of faith wide open so people of all nations could come streaming in.   Then they settled down for a long, leisurely visit with the disciples."  

I like that.  We all have stories.  Maybe we should listen to each others stories more often. Or maybe it's just me that needs to shut up and listen! 

 
8.  Helping the greater body of Christians

Acts 11:27-30 - there was going to be a famine "So the disciples decided that each of them would send whatever they could to their fellow Christians in Judea to help out.  They sent Barnabas and Saul to deliver the collection to the leaders in Jerusalem." 

I'm not finished reading about the church yet.  I also have a paper to write on the church but I'm pretty much convinced that being part of The Church is a good thing.   So instead of being Bothered by Church I think maybe I should write on the Joys of Church someday.    

 

Questions on The Church:

So...
I've been thinking for awhile about writing about church.   The title which has been most prominent in my mind being 'Bothered by Church'.   I've never quite mustered up the courage to actually write the post.  One can never tell who might read what is written and use it as evidence against me. 

As time goes on and I begin to study The Doctrine of the Church in Theology class, more thoughts of writing fill me head.   Mostly questions, they fill my head, they cause me to talk to myself hashing out problems, reasons why some aspects of church bother me, and wondering if I've totally missed the point of church.   After all what is the point of church?

Church; it's such a good idea but are our attempts at church really the Biblical way?  What should church look like?   What is the reason for church?  Or maybe I should go back to the very basic question of what is church? 

What do I think of when I think of church? 
What should I think of when I think of church?

Furthermore, is this a discussion on the local church or the church worldwide?  Is there a difference?

Is local church membership important? If so why? Is Sunday morning attendance necessary?   After all, as Billy from Family Circus says you can get an app for it now.

So I recently heard a sermon on Church Loyalty.  I think I mostly agree although what is it that I'm loyal to?   The little white church building?   The rules and regulations?  This goes back to the question, "What is church?"  If I'm going to be loyal I'd like to know what I'm loyal to.

So should I be bothered by church?

For now...I think I may go back to talking to myself, hashing out church issues, and read the book of Acts.   When I've hashed this a bit farther I may write some more and maybe I'll even come up with some answers.   Maybe I'll even ask for some other opinions.  Maybe together we can get this thing of church figured out once and for all. After all isn't working together part of what church is about?   And maybe then I won't be bothered anymore. 

 Disclaimer:

Please note that these are questions, not my beliefs or opinions.   These are suppose to be non-threatening questions. I am not trying to challenge anyone opinions or beliefs.  How is one to learn anything if one never asks questions. 

Next time maybe I'll share some of what I think is the Biblical purpose and mission of the church. 

Stories...

...we all have one!  

I've been thinking about our stories a lot lately.  We all have a story and no two stories are exactly the same.  There is so much that can be learned if only I take the time to listen to the stories. 

A couple of weeks ago I went to a two day retreat.  I loved meeting people and hearing stories - although in two days we hardly scratched the surface.  

This evening in Theology class we began the study of Soteriology or better known as the Doctrine of Salvation.  It was interesting to sit in class and listen to the stories.   Yes, the professor asked each one of us (probably 40-50 students) to share our salvation experience.   And yes, each one of us have a story. 

So please, share your story.  I want to hear it. I want to learn from you.   You have so much to share, so many experiences that I'll never have.  You've had pain, you've had joy, you've had ordinary days, and extraordinary days. They make up your story.
  Please share them!

Expanding Intelligence

Since reading expands the mind and increases intelligence here's my attempt at reading for 2013.  I know it's not so great but this does not include textbooks, newspapers, magazines and such.   This is purely for the fun of it reading.   :-) 

1. A Year of Biblical Womanhood:  How a liberated woman found herself sitting on her roff, covering her head and calling her husband master - By Rachel Held Evens
2. Be Committed:  Doing God's will whatever the cost.  (An old Testament Study of Ruth and Esther) By Warren W. Wiersbe
3. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide  - By Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn
4. Speaking of Jesus: The Art of Not Evangelism - By Carl Medearis
5. Joey's Story - By Ruth Ann Stelfox
6. Adopted -  By Becky McGurrin
7. The God's at War - By Kyle Idleman
8. Orphan Justice - By Johnny Carr
9. The Exodus Road: One woman's Journey into Sex Trafficking and Rescue - By Laura Parker
10. Human Trafficking:  A real life point of view of Sex Slavery in Thailand from the Front Lines - By Abraham Falls
11. Secret Shadow - By Lareen Plett
12. God in a Brothel:  An Undercover Journey into Sex Trafficking and Rescue - By Daniel Walker
13. Amy Carmichael - By Janet and Geoff Benge
14. George Mueller - By Janet & Geoff Benge

Then there is also the Audio books - You see, it's not exactly safe to drive and read but I can listen.  

1. Roots (Audio Book) By Alex Haley
2. Radical (Audio Book) - By David Platt
3. Pilgrims Progress (Audio Book) By John Bunyon
4. Radical Idea (Audio Book) By David Platt

I find myself drawn to reading about human trafficking, orphans, and radical living.  I read the books, I become informed, now how can I speak of Jesus to the hurting?   How can I be Jesus to the hurting? What is my part in bringing justice and freedom to the slaves?   How can I spare help the children to avoid a lifetime of scars and pain?

Moving Forward (while reflecting back) + Seeing who's the GREATEST!

The Year 2014 is upon us!

Looking back at 2013 it can tend to feel as if I haven't made much progress.   I still long for the warm weather of SE Asia.  I miss my friends there and long for a heart to heart talk with some of them. I miss using the Lao language. I miss the feelings of belonging and fulfillment that came from a productive day of teaching, interacting with students and staff or simply making some headway on new curriculum.  I MISS THAT!  Aren't those feelings of loss suppose to lessen and life in America become normal? 

2013 started a new beginning for me.   A time of adjusting to the cold weather, finding a new job, finding new friends, and trying to find a place to belong and fulfillment in a new life.

Looking back at 2013 and what do I see -  
God is amazing!  So many details he's worked out for me.    Little teeny, tiny details that can often seem almost to small to even take to him - he cares! 

Here's a few of the many:

• Searching for a job - discouraged/tears/ feeling that in Laos there is no lack of work so what in the world am I doing here, applying several places to no avail. Praying for a job where I actually feel needed - and behold on just the right day at just the right time I find just the right job!  
• Looking for a place to live - Classes start June 10 and needing a place by then/finding the perfect place and making up my mind just a day or two too late, not once but twice/ and then finding yet another place.  This place must really be the PERFECT place for it has worked out nicely! 
• Searching for job #2 near my new home and school - applying many places/searching out places/making phone calls/ feeling discouraged one Friday morning as I finally break down and decide to drop off my application at a fast food restaurant.   And then on my way 'just happening' to see and stop at one last motel along the way.   I never did make it to that restaurant.  I had a job the very next day.   
• But - for the aforementioned job I needed a plain black skirt - Dreading the search/these things can be a pain to find when you actually need them/knowing I might be all over town before the day is out in search of the skirt but /saying a prayer before entering the first store.  Amazingly walking out of the very same store with the black skirt!   Does God care about little things?   I THINK SO!!!
• Waking up sad/longing for the good old friend to have a good talk/tears/missing/dreading my evening out with a new friend whom I don't know well.  God used that new friend to really bless me above and beyond my expectations!  
• Someone to bless me by paying 3 months of rent! 
• Helping me pass (with good grades) 7 classes!  I am humbled!  God gave me a brain and abilities, God have me this opportunity to learn He expects me to use it!  

 Have I made progress?  It is a little hard to say.  I'm still cold a lot.  I still miss my friends.  I still often feel like I haven't really found my place to fit in and be fulfilled in America.

But who's to say what is true progress.   What I really want is to know Jesus better.  I've really been thinking about what my relationship with him means and what walking/living/being in the Spirit really means. 

So for 2014 - My desire is to continue learning to know Jesus - continue being led in very real ways by the Holy Spirit.

I'm excited about how He will work in 2014!