Random Thoughts and Questions on Prayer

Here's something I've been thinking about for a couple of months now.

I guess I will go ahead and get it off of my chest.  I've had a few discussions on the topic but feel a bit as though I've struggled to express myself in a way that is easily understood.

• Maybe I don't know how to put what I'm thinking into words.  
• Maybe I use too many words and make something confusing that is not confusing at all. 
• Maybe I am confused about something that is so simple to everyone else. 
• Maybe I just have questions that are beyond understanding. 

See, here I am, I don't even know how to put the questions I've been pondering into words without sounding like I'm going against some of the things I've always thought I believed.  

So maybe I'll just go back to the beginning.  Several months ago I started thinking, why is it that when someone is sick, or has a sick child, or goes missing, or some such big event in their life that it gets splashed all over Facebook or other forms of social media begging the world to pray.   It then gets "liked" and "shared" and "liked" and "shared" and "shared" some more.  Very quickly there are hundreds and thousands and maybe hundreds of thousands of people who are in the know of the child with leukemia. Most of these people not only don't know the child, they have no knowledge of the parents or even the distant relatives of the child. When there is no relational connection and the child being sick really does not affect their own personal life at all. I find myself wondering if we like sharing it because it's big sad news or because we really care that much about this unknown person.    

And I find myself asking questions. 

• Do the hundreds and thousands of prayers get heard better than the solitary prayer?  
• Is this like shouting at God to make sure he hears us? 
• Does our collective begging somehow touch God's heart in a way the weeping mother alone in her room cannot?  And if so, what hope is there for the child whose parents don't splash their needs/wants/desires on social media? Many people do not have the platform that some of us take for granted. Does God not hear them as well as He does us?  (I'm fairly certain that God does not have a hearing problem)

These questions only led to more questions.  

• What about prayer times in our churches?  
• If God hears better when multitudes pray then shouldn't our every want and need be plastered on the church bulletins? And shouldn't our prayer times be free from long awkward silences?
• Why is it that so often prayers tend to run down the line of Aunt Sally's neighbor has a cousin whose wife has liver problems? Where does that fit in?  
• What about my deeply personal issues, is there no hope for me if I lack the courage to speak my heart before the masses? 
• Does everything need to be shared with the masses or is it ok to take and leave a few things at the foot of the cross of Christ Alone? 

Let's think about prayer in general for a bit

My recent questioning leads me back to another time and place with another discussion on prayer.  I don't remember all of the specifics from that conversation but my take away challenge was and continues to be, what if prayer is more about my relationship with God than it is about what God is going to do. 

Is it possible that I have started hoping that prayer could be used somewhat as a magic button to push when I want my circumstances changed?   What if changing circumstances is not God's answer?  What if my prayer or the prayer of the masses does not change what God is going to do about the circumstance?  Does that make God less God?

And what if corporate prayer is also more about relationships than it is about what God is going to do? 

As I was trying to articulate some not very well formulated questions on corporate prayer one response I got was, "But there's power in prayer!" 

Yes, my friends, yes - I am a believer in the power of prayer but I am wondering, does some of that power have more to do with my heart than with changing circumstances?  

Please notice I'm asking questions not making statements. 

What if the power of prayer is connected to that relationship with God, and through that relationship He changes my heart?  Trust me, changing my heart takes a lot more power than I have access to on my own.  

Back to some thoughts on corporate prayer

Prayer is talking to God.  

We talk to people we have a relationship with.  

I pray because I have a relationship with God.  Lots of good sense in that!  

Jesus often withdrew from the crowd to pray (Luke 5:16). He taught us to go to our room and pray in secret (Matt. 6:5-6).  He told the story of the Pharisee and the tax collector (Luke 18: 9-14).  

But where does that leave corporate prayer?

Jesus also asked His disciples to pray with Him (Matt. 26:39-41)
There are many examples of the fervent prayer of the believers in the early church as well. 

I pray because I have a relationship with God.  You, as a believer also have a relationship with God.  Therefore we both talk to God.  It only makes good sense that we talk to God together. 

Because I have a relationship with you, I care about the things that you care about thus I will pray for you. This is one way of caring and lightening your burden (Galatians 6:2).  

We have an amazing God and we both know it so we will worship together  (Heb. 13:15). 

Confession and prayer should be a part of our lives so that our souls can find healing (James 5:16). Confession is not a solitary activity.  

James talks about doubt and wavering (James 1:6) and praying together strengthens us and builds our faith.  Together we can stand unwavering. 

And I'll be honest, I still don't know what I think about our prayers changing God's mind.  He knows what He is going to do so does it make a difference in the circumstances if a bunch of people pray, I'm not really sure.  I do know it does make a difference to my heart, which makes a difference in my response to the circumstances. It does give me courage to know you are praying for me, and moves me from my self centered focus when I can pray and care for you. I think it’s a win win situation.
We do also have the example of Abraham pleading for Sodom and Gomorrah (Gen. 18).  Did God change His mind?

I do know that God knows what's best and I do know that He loves us (Matt. 7:9-11) and that we can trust Him with the final decision.  I wonder, in our relationship & prayers are we simply agreeing with God and His will for our lives? 

Here is a quote that I found and thought interesting.   "Corporate prayer isn’t about getting enough people together to pray until God bends His will to our will. Instead, prayer (corporate and private) is about cooperating with God and abandoning our desires and submitting to God’s will." 

And again I say, this is just a collection of random thoughts and questions.  This is not a comprehensive study on the subject. 

Quote from: 

https://www.allaboutprayer.org/corporate-prayer.htm 

Peace on Earth

Peace: freedom from disturbance; tranquility 

Look around you.  There is action.  There is work to be done.  There is school to attend. There is shopping and shipping and rushing and programs and crooked angel wings.  
There is living and dying and sickness and health.  There are social responsibilities and there is loneliness.  
There is some weariness but is there peace?  
Is there tranquility?

How then in the midst of the action, the rushing, the living, the sickness, and the crooked angel wings do we find peace?

Do we remember and live within the true meaning of Christmas? 
Jesus is the Prince of Peace. 
Let us not forget about Jesus in the midst of the action. 

A Child of the King

It's true. I might be a beggar in brokenness and rags but then The King came and when He walked past he didn't look the other way.  He didn't ignore my need.  He looked at me and He smiled.  He sat down with me and He stayed.  He said, "If you will let me I will change you. If you will believe me you can be my child".  

And I said, "Yes". 

He said, "I'll adopt you and make you mine."  

And He did.  

He said, "You are beloved, you are beautiful, you are my child now". 

And He changed me.  The rags fell away.  The broken became beautiful, because now I'm a child of The King. 

I'm a Beggar Too

I just finished reading the book Under the Overpass by Mike Yankoski.  He along with his friend Sam spent a few months on the streets in several different American cities to get a taste of what homelessness must feel like and to learn something about the homeless communities. 

I had read this book several years ago but a good book is often worth rereading.  It is good to be reminded that not everyone can live the extravagant life that I do. It was also good to be reminded that just because someone’s circumstances are less fortunate than mine does not mean they are less human. It is so easy, in my self-righteous pride, to look down on others who look different or have less than I do.  In the story it is shocking and sad how Mike and Sam were sometimes treated by other humans, by churches, by Christians. There are also examples of kindness and people willing to help but mostly those who are better off tend to ignore the less fortunate, and then we try to rationalize our lack of care. 

So, how do we care and how do we show people that Jesus loves them? 

Several times in the last few years I’ve seen people holding signs at stop signs or traffic lights.  I almost always think, ‘I wonder, what Jesus would do for them, how would he help them?’ and I almost always drive past and do nothing.  Partly because I don’t know what to do and partly from fear of doing the wrong thing.  You see, Jesus knows exactly what they would need.  He would always do the right thing. 

One incident that happened several years ago comes to mind. I was traveling and had stopped at a Sheetz and bought a sandwich.  As I was pulling out of the parking lot I noticed a man with a sign reading “Anything Helps” or something of that nature.  And something within me said – “Give him your food, you don’t really need it”.  I pulled out and left.  I did notgive him my food.   As I drove away I considered going back, but I didn’t.  I still think about that man and I still wonder if I should have given him my food.  

In Under the Overpass Mike acknowledges that while they survived on the money that people gave them, that giving cash is not always the recommended way of helping because many people will spend it on drugs or alcohol. He suggests giving gift cards for fast food or coffee shops. What really caught my attention though is when he said,  “I think the most meaningful gift might be your genuine attention and caring. It was amazing how much a smile or a quick hello did for Sam and me on the streets, partly because such kindnesses were so rare. When someone stopped to talk, even for a minute, the powerful underlying message was, “I noticed you, you’re a human being, and you’re worth my time””. 

It’s true I often try hard to avoid eye contact.  I try to ignore the person, to walk (or drive) by without noticing. 

How hard is it to smile? 

Growing in farming country, far from the big cities I never really saw much homelessness up close and personal.  I really never thought about it.  When I took mission trips into the big city it was almost like the homeless were a novelty to be observed.  I felt sorry for them.  But I don’t really understand the helplessness and hopelessness they must be feeling, as they stood in line at the soup kitchens.
 

Living in a foreign country brought the street beggars a little closer home.  I’d sometimes buy some food for them.  I mostly thought in my self righteous way, that I don’t want to encourage more begging.  I’d usually start conversations by asking them why they did not have a job.  One individual when I asked him why he didn’t have a job, simply answered “I’m crazy”.  Apparently crazy people can’t get jobs?

You know, there’s something a little uncomfortable about hanging out with beggars and I happen to like my comfort.  I remember one time I was killing time in a shopping mall in Thailand when a young girl latched on to me.  She let me know she was hungry and would I buy her some food. 

Sure.  I’ll buy you some food, but since this is a shopping mall and most of the food is more pricey inside why don’t we go outside and I’ll get you some rice and some street food.  She would have none of that, nothing by spaghetti from Pizza Hut would do and trying to convince her that “if” she was hungry noodles from outside would suffice was to no avail. (Apparently beggars can be choosers, sometimes)  So to Pizza Hut we went.   We sat and waited for spaghetti. It seems like it was a long wait. We talked some and she wandered around some.   I believe she even ventured out to the kitchen. Meanwhile I was feeling slightly uncomfortable, surrounded by those who could afford Pizza Hut, while keeping company with a girl who wandered around in places I wasn’t sure guests were supposed to be.
  

So why is it uncomfortable to be kind? Why do I care what others think?   It’s pride.  It’s because I have forgotten that I myself am a poor and needy beggar.  At the foot of the cross of Jesus the ground is level and I too bring my brokenness, ugliness and my unkempt self. I’m completely helpless to save myself and change my ways except for the kindness and love of Jesus.  We are all in desperate need of a Savior.  We're in need of mercy and grace and I am so glad that Jesus did not walk past without taking notice of me.  In coming to Jesus we all start out at the same place.  A place of great need. 

Yankoski, M. (2010). Under the Overpass. Colorado Springs:  Multnoma Books

a single strand of spaghetti

I've heard it said, "women are like spaghetti".  This is referencing the complex thought patterns in which many strands can become intertwined and one original thought could actually lead down many different paths. Given enough time with many twists and turns the thought processes will arrive somewhere but this somewhere could and most probably will be at an entirely different place than one might expect. 
With much discipline and training one might actually be able to follow the thought from start to finish. 

Many give up. 
Others see the the tangled web and run for shelter.   

I recently tried to unearth a single strand - all the way from start to finish.  It took many turns.  I got confused along the way but here's where I'm at. 

As I was gliding somewhere among the clouds - Flight 4783 to Charlotte, I looked out the window and there was the moon.  Like right there, really bright too. I'm sure God put that moon there, just for me.   Then I saw puffy white clouds, I really love puffy white clouds and I'm pretty sure God put those there just for me too.  Then as the we hit what had looked like a puffy white cloud and things got real cloudy and we started bouncing and rocking, I wondered if God put that cloud there just for me too?  
We broke through the clouds and I looked down.   Way down below were lights.  Hundreds of lights.  No, Thousands of lights.  I began to think of the hundreds and thousands of people those lights represented and I began to wonder if perhaps God made the moon and the clouds for them too.  And then I began to wonder about the lives of the hundreds below me.  Did they know about the God who made the moon and clouds?   Had anyone ever told them?   

(here is where the strands of spaghetti get hard to follow) 

One strand - leads down a path of near anger.  I live in a country with hundreds of churches and there's still this possibility that some of those people represented by the lights might not have heard about Jesus.  I remembered a time when I sat listening to the speaker at church as he told us how we don't have to go to the Third World countries to find the poor.  It made me kinda mad because...  
But wait....wrong spaghetti strand.   

Another strand - takes me back a few years.  It was my first time in China.  We traveled out into the country, up into the mountains and were spending some time among Tibetan people.  It was a day that impacted my life - at least for a short time.  Apparently recently I've forgotten - but that's another strand, or around a different bend.   

That day as I saw the prayer flags flying across the valley - I don't know how they managed to string them up the whole way across between the mountains but they did it.  I saw the people spinning their prayer wheels - but what affected me the most was the group of men who were carving their prayers into rock.  
Here in the mountains lived an amazing group of people desperate for their prayers to reach the spirits.  Here in the mountains lived a group of people doing all that they knew to communicate with the gods.   They needed only one thing.  
JESUS.  
They probably had never heard of Jesus.  

And there was I.  Before I was born I had people praying for me.  From the day of my birth I've had people telling me about Jesus.  

How is this even fair???!!

I remember mentioning to my friends how I had been taught of Jesus all of my life and here were people who had never heard.   I remember carrying a picture of those guys carving their prayers into stone in my Bible.  I remembered...for awhile.   And then I basically forgot.   

Another strand - led me to think of  Hotel Rwanda.  

But wait ...I think this was leading somewhere.  

Flight 4783. 
The moon. 
The clouds. 
The lights. 
The people.   
JESUS. 

Then there is Luke 12.
"To whom much is given much will be expected." 

Right now I can't think of anyone who been given more than me, and I'm convicted by the fact that lately I have focused on things I thought I didn't have and completely forgot how much I've been given. 
What would God have me to do with all that I've been given? 


You know what.  This started with admiring the moon, it's gone from here to there and back again and I've still not arrived.
OR I'm possibly arriving at a place that's a little bit scary and could require something of me. 

I'm beginning to see a tangled web.
I think I'll run for shelter!  











   

Home

I've been thinking about home.

A number of years ago, I was traveling through Cambodia, or maybe it was Vietnam, a fellow traveler said to me, "I get confused when you talk about home".
That was back when life was simple. 

Just recently I caught myself telling someone that I was going "home" for the weekend.   I noticed a bit of a strange look on their face and realized they thought I lived here, and this was home.   So I explained that I was going to where my parents lived.  My parents were moving but in fact the place they were moving from was not the home where I had lived.   (well, I did live there for about 4 or 5 months between other homes)

And this is the point where I get confused too.

What is home?
Where is home?   

I have decided that the story isn't finished and I am not home yet.  

Into the future

Sometimes looking back gives me courage to go forward. 

I ask the questions: 
How did I get here?
Why did I have the privilege of traveling and so many different life experiences?  
Where am I going from here?

I remember desperate prayers before stepping into a classroom full of eager students because I was sure I couldn't do it.  Not tonight I just didn't have the energy. 
But I'd leave 2 hours later feeling completely energized!!! 

I can think of numerous times when I've done things that I couldn't do. 
This my friends, is why looking back gives me courage to go forward.  

Looking into the future I get scared!

I'm learning:
Fear is a prison. 
Fear keeps me from living my best.  
Fear keeps me in hiding.
Fear keeps me from helping others.
Fear keeps me silent.
  
Fear is not God's best for anyone.  

Some questions I've been pondering:
What if I really believed that the Jesus of the Bible is really who He says He is?  
How would it change my life if I really took Jesus at His word?

Where did my specific life experiences come from?  
How did I get here?

Take a look at Jesus.  
I'm pretty sure He was heavily involved in the travel.
He was responsible for the miracles.
He has changed me.
He has helped me.
He has led me in the past.

If I really believe that Jesus is who He says he is, why do I fear the future?  

Here's to a future filled with Hope, with Joy, with Love! 
A future filled with Jesus!